Category: Stitch This

It is so easy to buy confidence. A typical month for me includes 24 hours devoted to shopping (time accumulated over a month). Whether it’s online, in malls, or unique boutique, my therapy is in the form of shopping for clothes. I feel good doing it. I feel good trying it on. I feel empowered paying for it! On the other hand, how do we know it is not a scam? Scam, is a pretty harsh word so why don’t we use the term “buyer’s remorse”.

How do I ensure that I am not remorseful about my purchases? 

Easy, buy it for the right reasons. The number #1 cause for buying clothing is to be accepted by others. Whether you want to believe it or not when you make a majority of your purchases you internally think about the reaction you will evoke out of others based on your decision to wear a specific outfit.

You can not buy long-term acceptance.

What does this mean? Before purchasing an article of clothing, ask yourself what is it for?

  • Is it for an event?
  • Is it for a date?
  • Is it to make sure you look better than everyone else?

If so, good luck trying to keep that level of confidence, because you will never be accepted for just THAT outfit. You will always have to buy more to keep up with the compliments and you will always struggle when the compliments seem to disappear.

Comparison and external validation can literally eat away your level of confidence if it is not addressed.

You have to shop for yourself. I don’t mean you need to do solo shopping trips. You literally need to buy outfits for yourself…..and no one else. You are the best cheerleader and the best critic for yourself. Love your decisions, love the way they look on you and it will show to others. This is the difference between “long term acceptance” and “short term acceptance” Short Term Acceptance = Convincing others you belong because of an action you tailored to fit their comfortable zone. Long Term Acceptance = Creating a sense of fascination with your style by having a concrete sense of pride in your style. People may be initially uncomfortable or concerned however, this will grow into fascination and lead to admiration.

Everyone would love to be in a mental state where they are respectfully “self-obsessed”. They just don’t know how to get there. That’s why others will appreciate, respect and remember you for that character trait.
It’s a Win = Win situation.



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