No Apparel Shopping Cleanse
I could not imagine on March 24th, 2014 that December 21, 2014 would feel like this. 9 months of addressing what I own in my closet has forced me to address so much more. Between the hangers that held up my trench coats for the winter and my maxi dresses for the summer hung something I had not seen in so long I forgot that I lost it; myself.
Behind all of the shirts and skirts was a one of the kind, elegantly designed, divinely shaped version of me waiting to be worn. No wonder had not seen it for years. I was too busy buying clothes to compliment my environment that I had forgot what it felt like to compliment my mind; to make decisions based own my spirit verses my sight.
Gladly enough, I am grateful this lesson came disguised as a shopping cleanse. At the start of my journey, my goal was to travel more; to supplement my habit of blinge shopping to traveling more frequently. And as tangible as the idea, the goal was accomplished. In the past 9 months I have been blessed to travel to Spain, the United Kingdom, Italy, Greece, Thailand and a few US states. As I write and reflect on it now, I had to question if it was a dream. Did all that really happen?…did it really happen to me?
“It never occurred to me that I could re-create my own story, my real life story, but in an evolution I had moved toward a better me. I was creating someone I could live through, the person I’d be if I redrew the world, a character that was me but flesh and soul other. And flesh and soul better too…
I’ve wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don’t want the responsibility inherent in the acknowledgment. We don’t want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage. And if life isn’t remarkable, then we don’t have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants.
But I’ve noticed something. I’ve never walked out of a meaningless movie thinking all movies are meaningless. I only thought the movie I walked out on was meaningless. I wonder, then, if when people say life is meaningless, what they really mean is their lives are meaningless. I wonder if they’ve chosen to believe their whole existence is unremarkable, and are projecting their dreary life on the rest of us.”
-Excerpt From: Donald Miller.
“A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.” iBooks (Interested in reading more? Click here to view my favorites quotes through this book)
Dear Mr. Miller, I get it now. When I first read that book I was in awe. Such a great way to view life. I consider what would make a great story vs. a good story when contemplating decisions… and to my 2014 memoirs, that has made all the difference.
I indirectly repurposed the time I allocated to my wardrobe worries to think about something bigger. Something more intrinsic. As the year ends and I piece together the big puzzle that held all of this years ideas, the word that comes to mind to describe my feelings is, lucid (experienced with the dreamer feeling awake, aware of dreaming, and able to control events consciously).
I remember writing this, “Naming Your Years” and being confident it was the only thing I knew for sure. Then, months later I wrote this, “Using Friction to End Fear” and I had know idea where that wisdom came from. With this strong since of realization, I can now see all the little thin threads that embody my days and weeks sewed together a better version of me.
Humbly honored, I have learned the less distractions you have, the easier it is to get to the most genuine form of you…an life can not be defined as life if it is not genuine.